The following is a word-for-word transcript of my thought process at 7:09 this morning while lying in my bed staring at the ceiling. To get the full effect, read very slowly and add emphasis to the adjectives. Staying at home makes the most sense. I have food at home. String cheese! This room is boxy. I like string cheese. Plus it’s food I don’t have to buy. If I go to a coffeeshop – ugh, eyegoo – I’ll have to pay. Kate just woke up. Coffee is expensive, but if Car – what the hell is she wearing high-heels for? She hasn’t even taken a shower, ugh, I drooled. Yellow is nice. No, that’s not yellow, it’s – of course, if I go to Powells – Updike! I need to read Updike. What time is it. 7:11. I wonder if I can itch my eyebrow by scrunching up my nose.. Scrunch.. Scrunch..What killed Updike anyways, was it his heart? Scrunch… Maybe his brain exploded. Scru… Dammit. Hmm. I have bananas too, they’re yellow. No, that’s more of a ocher…… What a weird movie. Or maybe his ears fell off and his brain spilled – I should go to Powells, wouldn’t even need to pay – living forever would be nice…well that makes sense, he was about to die…looked a little like the Steve Jobs E.R. guy… what movie was that black guy in… imdb later. Rememberthatrememberthatrememberthat. Books, yes, I could sit in the corner near the tapes. Good plan. Headphones. Doublegood. But that’s so LONG, he couldn’t have been sad about the dead guy. Cavemen didn’t have feelings… did they? I need to blow my nose. That’s right, George Clooney was on ER too, Jesus I feel old. That’s right! He was Jesus! I wish I were Jesus. Except Jesus couldn’t fly. No, I wish I could fl – laser beams would be good too though. Maybe just those two, flying and lasers. Jesus would go to Powells though. That’s reason enough. Ok, first things first. Bracelets. String cheese… two should do nicely. Goddamnit, now she’s in the shower…. (etc, etc, for another ten minutes until Kate was finished with her shower and I dragged myself out of bed.) And so it came to pass that I spent the day at Powells, happily eating lukewarm string cheese that I had smuggled from home.

Comments

m.
Yup, not so much a dagger as really pointy thumbtacks. Thousands of thumbtacks. Pokepokepokepokepokepokepokepoke. Ouch. At least I know you're fully appreciating the glory that is Powell's; it would be wasted on some :)